It has taken me this long to realise it. But I think I have pretty much figured it all out now. It was all an act. Yes, an act.
I’d love to believe it. I’d love to believe a lot of things. But I know that in this world it is highly impossible. That’s real sad.
I figured that the reason I was crushed was because I was trying to guard my own heart. I was trying to protect myself. But if it’s me against this world, then I am doomed. No matter how careful, or distant, or cold I try to be, I will eventually get really hurt or I will stop loving. And I do not wish for either.
So how should it have been? My heart should have been guarded by Jesus. That’s what would have kept me safe. The thing is, Jesus guards my heart only for as long and as much as I let him. But this I know, if I choose to have him guard my heart from the devil and all this world has to offer, whoever wants to get to my heart will have to go through him. Just like the boy/man who wishes to be personally involved in the matters of my heart will have to go through my family and friends. No, I am not saying that with Him as the guardian of my heart I will never be hurt by this world but rather that when I am hurt (which will be minimized) He will be so much closer to help me through it all. Whoever He lets close to my heart will be there to play a part in protecting my heart from this world and all it has to offer. No, Jesus does not NEED someone to help Him protect me, He just provides this opportunity for the excercising of brotherly and sisterly love in Christ Jesus. He could jolly well protect His own creation. Man is not vital to him when it comes to handling the world He created.
In the same way, I pray that when Jesus lets me into the heart of another person, I will be able to help protect him/her.
Come and make my heart Your home.
Come and be everything I am and all I know.
Search me through and through ’till my heart becomes a home for You.
A home for You, Lord.
A home for You, Lord.
Let everything I do open up,
A door for You to come through,
And that my heart would be a place where You want to be.
amyruthxxoo
